The New Avengers # 15
The Fear Itself tie-in issues continue in the new issue of “The New Avengers”, and normally I wouldn’t bother to comment on something that is same o’ same o’, but I have to tell everyone something that almost made me sneeze my milk. It continues with the interview style concept of past Avenger Fear Itself tie-in issues, but this time it features Squirrel Girl. Don’t worry if you’ve never heard of her before, she’s sort of new. Several issues back, Luke Cage (invincible body, super strength, and looks like Shaft but with more muscles) and his wife (one of the many Spider-women), hired a babysitter for their kid, and they needed someone with powers to handle an emergency. They ended up hiring Squirrel Girl to great comedic effect. She runs around in a half furry, half latex outfit, and has a big bushy tail that I haven’t seen a use for yet. She might even be considered hot if you’re into the whole furry thing. This current issue involves her protecting the Cage baby while the Red Skull attacks New York City.
I actually found the issue interesting because Squirrelly is well written and treated with an ounce of respect, despite the fact she is a stock comic relief character. Speaking of comic relief, this brings me to the part that made me want to write about it. Towards the beginning of the comic, taking place long before the Red Skull’s attack, Iron Fist (kung fu dude that can power up his punching fist) and Wolverine spar in the Avengers Mansion’s backyard. After Iron Fist gets tired of landing on his butt, Wolverine invites the new kid to the grassy octagon. No one, including Wolverine, seems to take it seriously… until she jumps on Wolverine like a rabid rodent and nearly claws his face off. This triggered a long hard belly laugh from me as the hilarity ensued. With some good writing, we’ll probably see more of the furry and great moments like in this issue. Though she’ll probably never get promoted beyond nanny, I’m glad she is a part of the Avenger household. FYI, she can talk to squirrels. So she’s like Aquaman; taken about as seriously, but has fur instead of scales… and boobs, never forget the boobs.
Read more about comics, including the new Ultimate Spider-man!
Ultimate Fallout #4
There really isn’t much to say here. As mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Marvel’s Ultimate universe got a new Spider-man and everyone over the age of 30 (not including myself) foamed at the mouth because he was half Puerto Rican and half black. I also mentioned that I don’t follow Marvel’s Ultimate universe, so I can’t really explain what is going on in this issue. Something about Reed Richards going insane and some blonde chick saying the U.S. government created mutants. The new Spider-man is only in the comic for a couple of pages, and would only impact those who follow the Ultimate universe. I could go on a fifty page rant about how Spider-man fanboys get a nosebleed every time writers try to improve the comic by modernizing it, but it’s really not the fanboys who are kicking up the fuse here. In fact, I find it a little odd that the basement virgins aren’t complaining about it. Spider-man’s outfit has been redesigned more times than any other outfit in comic history, and when it happens, the fanboys start a letter campaign with the Caps Lock on and don’t turn it off till it’s set back the way it was. Still, I digress. If you follow Marvel’s Ultimate universe, than you probably already own a copy of this comic. If you don’t follow it, don’t worry about it. Everyone who has the ego to think that they’re someone important will find something else to vent about soon.
Also, in a shameless plug to myself, check out Bruce Osborne on Facebook. I post/link all my stuff there, including chapters on a book I’m working on. Feel free to hit the ‘Like’ button as if you’re an addict.
 sterling squirrel n… $28.00
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 AVENGERS – 2012 Mov… $250.00
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 Custom Marvel Girl … $120.00
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 Spider Man knob dra… $5.00
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 SALE – Babysitter N… $9.99
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 I Recycle Babysitte… $14.50
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 PUERTO RICAN – &quo… $19.99
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 Spider Man – 15 ima… $1.90
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