Dearest Melvin, Are you using the grooming products we left at the door yesterday? Please please do so darling, we want to be grandparents and feel that the odor coming from the basement may be keeping you from having your little friends over. Dad says to remember to pick up those socks he likes on your way home from the convention. Lasagna for supper tonight ok? love you, Mom
Melvin my Love..
I see all of these other skanks writing to you. This makes me feel like you may have been going behind my back. Many, many times! I know we have only known eachother for a month, But I can remember the first time I laid eyes on your sweaty porn stache.. There you were.. Standing in line waiting to get your copy of the newest World of Warcraft expansion. You looked nervous to be around such a large crowd, but it was sexy the way you held your ground at the front of the line. I like that in a man.
Sorry, I was getting caught in the moment.
The point im trying to make here, is that I lov– I lov– .. Im in LIKE with you Melvin! Dont stray!
Holly * Your ONE and only!*
I am your doppleganger except Asian. I hope I don’t run into you or the universe may explode like you make gank* hearts explode.
Kudos on the wood paneling.
You’re my baby brother and I love you, but I couldn’t call myself a good sister if I wasn’t honest with you.
I know that you had it rough growing up; we could only afford a patched up N64 instead of a Gamecube, and the only computer dad would get you was an Apple II until I managed to get you that old HP from 1995.
I know those experiences still haunt you, and I partially blame myself. If I hadn’t needed braces, we might have been able to afford better gaming systems. If I could go back in time, I would choose crooked teeth over seeing the depths of your pain.
But there comes a time where we all have to grow up, Mel. I know that you might not see it now, but you have so much to offer the world. You have a Link inside you, just waiting to get out and pwn any obstacle in your path.
You can do it little brother. As Kamina would say, “believe in me, who believes in you.”
I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted when my team over on Horde side brutally pwned your Alliance team in the BG.
I keep telling you, Melvin, that you should faction change; be on the winning side, but our ruthless slaughtering of your side was in no way enough to justify dancing around you, clucking like a chicken, and laughing at your buddy who I shanked in the rear.
– Your Equal on Horde Side
PS: I apologize for the comments about your mother.