Hey there everyone. I hope your weekend was as awesome as mine. I would tell you all what I did, but that might get me in trouble with the local law enforcement, the F.B.I., and the Secret Service. Yes, it was that AWESOME of a weekend. I really wish I could go into detail, but to do that could endanger your lives, and as a serious journalist, I would not want to risk your lives on the tale of my weekend of incredible sweetness. The only hint I can give is this: Las Vegas – Who doesn’t love neon and hookers. But enough of my coolness, I have decided to give movies a rest this week and do what I promised you all earlier this summer. This is my follow up review of the new SyFy television show “Alphas” Continue reading
Greetings all! I hope the last few weeks of summer have found you well and filled with enjoyable movie thoughts. I’ve spent the last few weeks hunting down a movie suitable for the end of this glorious summer. I looked low and I looked high to find a movie that I could bring to you. It took time and a lot of hours watching only the finest of movies from the 80′s, but in the end…
“You asked me. You could have saved a lot of time if you would have listened to me in the first place.”
I know Cthulhu, I know. I just didn’t know if this was the right movie for my readers.
“Don’t you mean OUR readers?”
No. I mean my readers. I started this article, not you.
“No, but due to your worship of me and my powers to manipulate the masses, well you know, boom goes the dynamite. You get a fan and readers, and I get more souls when I make my triumphant return.”
That’s not how this worked. It was all me, Holly and Melvin for the blog space, and my love of movies. You were just supposed to help out on occasion. You know, a guest writer, or a bit of comedy when the article needed it.
“Yeah right, ya pansy. You need me. You need me to make this article pop. You need me to make…”
If you keep this up, I’m kicking you off the blog. And I mean that.
“Oh, okay. I’m sorry. Why don’t you get to the review. I’m sure YOUR readers are tired of listening to us bicker.”
Thank you. As I was saying, this weeks fantastic installment is the fine feature film from 1980, Roger Corman’s “Humanoids of the Deep”.
Hey there my weekly movie loving friends! I have looked and scoured the fabled interwebs, and I even sacrificed a goat to my favorite Elder God Cthulhu.
“That was a sacrifice? Really? It was small and missing two legs and an eye!”
Will You be quiet? It was a gift, be nice. Sorry about that folks, sometimes It’s a picky Elder God. As I was saying, after last week’s review of John Carpenter’s “The Thing”, I received a note on Facebook from my oldest and dearest friend, Mike. He read my review as he always does, but was disappointed that the review was not about his favorite Marvel character The Thing. I remember walking to the comic book store with Mike and talking about The Thing and his wrestling matches in his spin off comic. For many birthdays, The Thing was a standard gift for Mike. Mostly action figures, but the occasional die-cast Thing or pewter Thing would also be thrown into the mix. One of my fondest memories, and long standing jokes between Mike and me, has to do with The Thing action figure that was dressed in a trench coat, sunglasses, and fedora. Remember that Mike? Do you still have it?
“Will you stop waxing poetic and get on with the movie review! Gods you’re long winded sometimes.”
Okay, okay. Let’s got on with the review.
Hey there my favorite movie fans! I hope your week has treated you well and that your movie watching has gone unhindered. This week I have decided that I am going…
Really? Again? I am not going to listen to…
Oh for the love of all things trollish. Cthulhu I am not listening to you this week. I already reviewed a movie for you. I am not doing one this week. Maybe in a few, but not this week.
“Aw c’mon. Who’s your buddy? Who’s your Elder God? You know you enjoy reviewing my, er, I mean movies about The Mythos. There are so many that you could do…”
Yeah, I know that, but I have fans that don’t always like you and your tentacled buddies hamming it up on the DVD screen. I have other cool movies to review, to share. Like the one I have chosen for this week. It’s a classic. I mean a classic, awesome, old school early 80′s horror movie. It is also one of the few movies that I know that has an all male cast.
No you silly, blubbery…
“Watch yourself there. Remember I’ll do the ice cream thing.”
Oh okay. No the movie I am covering today is the John Carpenter 1982 movie “The Thing”.
“You know the monster in that movie has tentacles!”
Oh stop it!
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! Ia! Ia!
For many months now, I have been preparing to review “Captain America”. I was prepped to slam this movie, like Cap does with his shield on Hydra Agents. I was ready to sing the praises of Hugo Weaving as the Red Skull. I was even going to let you all know that if you want a sneak peek at “The Avengers” movie, wait through the credits, but no.
Alas, no. Ever since our return home from The Con, my nights have been fit filled with dreams of cities sunk below the seas, landscapes of forests that were not forests, and of beings of indescribable visages. And always in the distance, I hear the odd pipings, rhythmic drummings, and the chanting. Always the chanting. No matter what I dream, I hear the chanting. Quiet at first. “Ia! Ia!”. I attempt to locate the chanting. Where is it coming from? Then louder. ”Ia! Ia!” Am I dreaming? Is it in the house? What time is it? Where am I? Then louder still. ”Ia! Ia!” I start to run frantically to find The WifeUnit. She is nowhere to be found, but there is blood– lots of blood. The chanting becomes deafening. ”Ia! Ia!” I scream, “What! What does it mean? What do you want?” There is blood everywhere. I see a tentacled creature in the distance, glistening with terrifying malevolence. As tentacles slowly drag and slither their way towards me, I can only hear the chanting. ”Ia! Ia!” The smell of dead, rotting flesh assails my nostrils, and I can taste copper in my mouth– or is that blood? The tentacles slowly start to grip my limbs. I want to scream, but blood pours from my mouth. Then the chanting stops. Silence. Except for the distant sound of the surf rolling in. The tentacles constrict as I struggle to pull free. And then I hear Its voice. I cannot comprehend it at first. It makes no sense, and I feel my mind breaking; falling apart like pieces of glass from a broken window. I struggle to understand It. I try to concentrate, and then I hear it. Clearly as a church bell on Sunday morning. It says to me…
Hey there guys and gals! Sorry to leave you all hanging there, but I am actually still recovering from my journey to Mecca. I have a touch of the gleeps and our friend just went home this morning, so I missed a day…
But having gotten that out of the way, we can continue onto the story of Comic Con Part Deux: Challenge Accepted– Challenge Completed! You are all asking your selves what the hell does this title have to do with anything related to The Con.
Well days before I and my entourage embarked on our geekly quest, The Great and Honorable Holly, editor of Mom’s Basement passed me Melvin and uttered this geas, “Trollboy, my dear journalist of the snark, I task upon you to take yon Melvin and have his image captured with those whose geek surpasses all things geek. I command that you, Trollboy, make way to the fabled city of San Diego with your questing companions and have an image of Melvin and yourself with The Guild! This task I give to you and accept it you will, although I have already seen that you will fail in your quest. Be diligent and strong, do your best as I know you will, but I am not holding my breath. Now begone and travel well. Also, if you do meet them, give Felicia Day my card, okay? Cool.” I, The Mighty Trollboy looked at Holly as I jammed Melvin into my pocket and said, “Sure. I’ll do that. No worries Holly.” She looked and laughed at me and said she’d believe it when she saw it. With that, I took to my car and went home to prep for The Con. The only thought in my head was, “How can I show Holly up…?”
As you all know, we arrived on Thursday and we pretty much all split up as soon as badges and ginormous swag bags were procured. I wandered around the hall for a bit, looking at all sorts of cool geek things. Comic books older than me, cool Lego statues, and costumes from “The Dark Knight”, all worn by the actors themselves. It was a good day hunting the floor and looking at all that Geekdom had to offer, but I decided that I would deal with my quest and lay that to bed, so I could focus on doing other cool crap for the weekend.
I knew The Guild was located at table 4201, so I decided to check my gear, see if Melvin was ready, and headed off to their little part of The Con. Now in all honesty, it should be pretty easy to find their booth, or so one would think. There are huge banners hanging from the ceiling with aisle numbers on them, most of the booths had their numbers displayed, I had a map, and I even asked people where The Guild booth was. I wandered the hall for at least 30 minutes trying to find the location of “those whose geek surpasses all things geek”. It was not an easy task, especially since I came across these Con lovelies. I felt their siren song pull me from the path of The Guild, but I stood strong, snagged some photos, and continued on my quest.
I finally arrived at my destination and noticed that my quarry would be at the booth at 12:30. I checked my phone to see what time it was and found it to be Noon. So I did what any great hunter would do, and I loitered around their booth. I talked to one of the people attending to the Care and Feeding of the booth, and I was told that he was not the one to ask, but their producer, Kim, would be, and she would be arriving soon. So I wandered to some other booths and talked to an artist or two while awaiting Kim.
When she arrived, she started talking with some fans and others, and I waited. The little Trollboy in my head was jumping around screaming, “Knock those geeks over and talk to Kim! Let’s get this photo thing set up already! There are really hot booth babes to ogle and The Con is getting shorter! Hurry up ya dork!” I did not listen to my inner Trollboy this time and waited patiently for Kim to finish talking so I could propose my request to her.
She turned to me about thirty seconds later, introduced herself and asked how I was enjoying The Con, and was I waiting for autographs from The Guild. We talked for a few and then I told her of my grand quest. She said that The Guild was not really doing pics like that, but because of the urgency of this mission, she would slip me in first so I could get the pic that I needed. She also told me to let Felicia know what was up with Melvin and she was sure that could be worked in easily. I thanked her and she said it was no problem for fans. My inner Trollboy squeed a bit at that.
Slowly The Guild arrived. First it was Bladezz (Vincent Caso). We chatted for a bit about the show and MMO’s. Then Vork (Jeff Lewis) and Zaboo (Sandeep Parikh) got there. Codex (Felicia Day) was next on the scene. Last, but not least Tinkerballa (Amy Okuda) and Clara (Robin Thorsen) arrived. They all got settled in, after realizing there was little space for them all to sit and one missing chair. When the missing chair was secured, I had my moment in the Geek Sun! I greeted The Guild and thanked them for the awesome show and videos they have given to us all. I got to shake all of their hands and thank them for their autographs, and then I knelt down next to Felicia and told The Guild of my quest. I was asked by Vork if there was money involved and if there was, would I share it with them. I said no there wasn’t, but I would be mentioning them in my Trollboy blog. That got a round of approvals and then I passed Melvin to Felicia. She ooed at his cuteness and adorableness, held him up, and the picture was taken!
I thanked them all again for their time and the cool show they have shared with us. Then Felicia asked for a business card so she could keep up with the blog. I handed her Holly’s card, thanked them all again, and left for other Con adventures…
Til the future…
P.S.: If you didn’t read the beginning of my Comic Con trek, read away!
P.P.S.: Want your own cool Melvin to take around and get photos with? Follow this link and go get you one!